


Lost Until Found

by TR33G1RL



Category: Boruto: Naruto Next Generations, Naruto
Genre: M/M, Requited Love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-02
Updated: 2019-08-02
Packaged: 2020-07-29 01:23:33
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,238
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20073811
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TR33G1RL/pseuds/TR33G1RL
Summary: In a hospital, Shikamaru and Shino finally find it in themselves to confess to each other what they've both known.





	Lost Until Found

"I dunno why you insist on hiding under your jacket and visor. You'd have men and women clamoring over you if you'd just leave 'em off."

Nara Shikamaru's voice echoes off the walls of the hospital room that currently holds only two occupants. Shikamaru is one of them, sitting in a chair next to a prone prone figure. The other is a tall, dark-haired shinobi that currently lives in the hospital bed, his pale skin nearly the same shade as the white sheets that are pulled up to his chest. The man's dark hair is the only thing that gives him some color, and even then it's only enough to make him look like a black-and-white image in the newspaper. 

"To be blunt, Shikamaru, I do not have any want or need for attention from women," Aburame Shino says, his voice seemingly disinterested in the conversation in a whole. But Shimamaru knows better than to believe that tone; Shino is just tired and doesn't possess enough energy to sound anything but blunt.

"Just men, then," Shikamaru amends with a roll of his eyes. "But really, don't you wanna find someone? I know a lot of people are freaked out by your bugs, but I'm sure a lot of people would change their minds if they saw your face. You're pretty hot under all your clothes."

The teacher rolls his eyes. "While that is kind of you to say, I think that the scars would be a turn off to most people." The scars in question are very obvious, small dots all over Shino's exposed arms and many more hidden under the bandages that are wrapped around Shino's chest.

"Eh." Shikamaru shrugs. "They shouldn't be, not if they're any ninja worth their salt." And both know that what he says rings true. Any good shinobi or kunoichi knows that Shino's scars demonstrate just how strong and courageous he is.

"Perhaps," Shino says with a small nod. They both fall into a comfortable silence.

It's Shikamaru who breaks the silence. "So how long until you're all good to go back to teaching?" They both know that Shikamaru is worried, especially since he sat throughout in the waiting room throughout the whole surgery, which lasted approximately three hours. It was a minor surgery for a minor injury, but Shikamaru had still been worried without rationality to comfort him.

Shino glances over at him out of the corner of his eyes before his golden-brown pupils close again as a small attempt to save energy. "Only a few days. I will not take long to heal, but my kekka-"

"Your kekkai genkai means that you won't have the chakra to heal fast, I know. Trust me, I know." Shikamaru says sticky as he scratches the back of his neck. He has bags under his eyes. How unusual.

Shino simply nods in agreement, a small hum echoing in his mouth as he doesn't have the energy to respond. 

A low huff of laughter falls from Shikamaru's lips as he watches Shino's head fall to the side, onto his flat pillow. "Getting tired?" Shikamaru asks with a cocked eyebrow. He should really be leaving soon anyway. It's not good to keep a patient awake when they should be sleeping.  _ Especially  _ under Sakura's watch.

"I am, yes. We best part ways now. But you should come back tomorrow. I enjoy your company greatly," Shino says tiredly, but he offers a weak smile to the Hokage's Chief Aide. 

Something in Shikamaru's chest flutters, but he keeps a straight face as he nods. "I like spending time with you, too, Shino. Go ahead and pass out. I'll see you tomorrow." But when Shikamaru looks back up at Shino's face, the taller man is already asleep.

Shikamaru means to get up and leave, to go home so he can get ready for the next day. He does. He has every intention to go home and go to bed. But… sitting here, looking at Shino's relaxed form, he can't help but notice just how handsome Shino really is. Scarred and rough and calloused? Yes, but what ninja isn't? And it's rare to see Shino so relaxed. It sets something inside of Shikamaru at peace, even though he'd been so worried only half an hour earlier. Of course, the second Shino had woken, Shikamari had calmed down like nothing ever happened.

Everything goes quiet in the hospital room again, but it feels emptier this time feels worse. It feels worse because Shikamaru knows he can't have this, have sitting next to a sleeping, uncovered Shino every night. And that, that is a painful thought.

Shikamaru chuckles from deep in his throat, the melancholic sound filled with years upon years of secret wants and self-denied pleasures. "You know, a lotta people think you're hard to read. A lotta people think you're complicated and mysterious and unreadable," Shikamaru continues to speak to his audience as he gets up from his chair and stands near the head of Shino's hospital bed. He crosses his arms and leans against the bedframe. "But I think that's why I started learning to read you. And once I started, you were so  _ easy _ to read. Easy to read, but still interesting. You became my favorite thing to read until I realized that I can only focus on you."

The strategist falls quiet as he looks outside the window, observing the clouds and the way they move in agreement with the air currents and breezes. How calm and beautiful they are, how at peace… Shikamaru hopes that after this confession, he can join them in their silent serenity. 

"I think," He starts speaking again after a few moments, "That's the whole reason that Temari and I married." Shikamaru pauses to offer a shrug to his unconscious friend. "Well, that and the fact that she needed to get married to someone of a high standing in Konoha to form a sort-of alliance between us and Suna. If it had been up to her, she'd have married Tenten in a second. 'Course Tenten 'isn't from an important clan' and the elders wouldn't have accepted it," Shikamaru's neutral tone dipped into something more spiteful for just a split second, his face also reflecting this change in tone as well. Then Shikamaru's face smooths over once again as his eyes fall back on Shino. The teacher has always been incredibly attuned to what's happening around him because of his bugs, and Shikamaru doesn't want to risk stressing Shino out and waking him up.

"Luckily, we both knew the situation and agreed to get married. Temari and Tenten have been flirting for the past few months, and I'm happy for them. But now…" Shikamaru tilts his head towards Shino, his usually bored eyes taking on a certain softness as he takes in the sight of the unusually relaxed shinobi. "Now, I can't help but be a bit jealous. I want you. I won't say I've always wanted you, but I've wanted you for longer than I can remember. I want  _ you," _ Shikamaru repeats, his eyebrows drawing together with barely restrained emotions as he uncrosses his arms and quietly steps away from the headboard.

But, rather than walking away, Shikamaru sits on the edge of the bed, next to Shino's hip, slouching like the weight of an avalanche sits on his shoulders. Another laugh is pulled from the Hokage's Chief Aide, this one less melancholic and more harsh and dry and choked. "And you know what's worse? What makes all of this so much  _ goddamn _ worse?" Shikamaru's voice is raw, an open wound that has nothing to hide as words flow from it like blood. "What makes it worse is that I can  _ read _ you, Shino. And you know what I can read? You want me, too. I can read it somewhere between the pulse in your throat and the set of your shoulders and the twitch of your fingers," Shikamaru says with a tone far too heavy for a love confession. Especially given that he already knows that the one he's confessing to already wants him in return. 

But, then again, Shino is asleep, and the only love confessions that happen with one recipient unconscious are tragic ones, ones without a happy ending. 

"Because we can't be together, can we? Not with both of us needing to carry on our lines. And you… You've always been loyal, so I know you'll need to find someone who you can love wholeheartedly, someone sweet and shy and kind, someone who won't ask you to do what  _ I'd _ have to ask you to do. That's what you deserve, too. You deserve more.

Shikamaru reaches out to take Shino's hand within his own, but he pauses, hesitant. But there's no one there to see what's happening, no one to gasp or shoot a scandalized look his way, so Shikamaru slowly lays his rough, calloused palm over the back of Shino's cool, unmoving hand. He takes a deep breath in, let's it out slowly. Waits for hell to break loose.

But it doesn't. 

It doesn't. 

In fact, nothing happens.

Nothing changes besides the warmth that begins to seep into Shikamaru's cardiovascular system. Nothing changes besides the fact that Shikamaru can feel the faint, relaxed twitching of the muscles and tendons in Shino's hand and forearm. Nothing changes besides the fact that Shino's breathing comes a bit quicker at an outside stimuli. Nothing changes besides the fact that Shikamaru had known there was a  _ possibility  _ Shino was awake, but now he  _ knew  _ that Shino was awake.

Nothing changes, but  _ everything  _ changes.

Shikamaru watches, both truly unfazed and utterly shaken, as Shino's lovely earth-gold-brown eyes flicker open like a flame from a lighter. He doesn't move his hand from over Shino's own. After all, the deed has been done, there's nothing he can take bake. And, honestly, there's nothing he wants to.

"Shikamaru." Shino's voice is so rough with weariness, but there's laughter at the edges and corners of his words. It's barely there, but the Nara hears it and it calms him down just enough that Shikamaru feels comfortable rubbing his thumb over along the side of Shino's hand. It makes the teacher smile just a little, the faintest upturn of his lips at the corners that Shikamaru fell in love with many years ago.

"Yes, Shino?" Shikamaru asks, though he already knows what Shino is going to say. He's going to tell Shikamaru that he's right and that even though they love each other, they can't be together. Shino is smart, sensible and rational, and there's no way-

"Shikamaru, you're thinking too much and too loudly. I'd appreciate it if you would listen to me, as I will undoubtedly fall asleep again before long." 

The words immediately snap Shikamaru out of his thoughts and he blinks a few times before his eyes find Shino's again, and he realizes that Shino's words are true. Shino's cheeks are flushed with the exertion of trying to stay awake while his eyes are slightly hazy. "Wasn't thinking too much," Shikamaru mumbles with his rough voice, his weak protest the only thing he can think to say.

Shino chuckles again. "Of course not. But, Shikamaru, I need you to understand something." Shikamaru nods silently. swallowing around the dryness in his throat. "You say I deserve someone like the person you described. However, I could not care less about 'what I deserve.' I only know what I want." The air in Shikamaru's lungs goes still as Shino's shaking hand moves to twine their fingers together. Shino's dark gray eyes move to look at the action, but then Shino is speaking, demanding the strategist's attention to move back to Shino's face. "Shikamaru, I am a simple man. Most would say I'm a good man, as well. Would you agree?"

Immediately, Shikamaru gives a short, sharp nod. "One of the best, Shino. You're practically a saint."

The smile on Shino's lips twitches up just a bit more, for just a moment. "Thank you. And don't you think that even good people deserve to do selfish things every once in a while?" Shino asks as he tries to push himself up enough to lean against the headboard of his bed. 

Again, Shikamaru nods. "Well, yeah, but-"

"Then it's decided," Shino says with a sense of finality. "I will be selfish this one time. I will allow my cousins to conceive the next of our clan, and I will teach them as well as the rest of Konoha. I'll elect one of them as the next heir. And, in doing that, I'm free to pursue a relationship with you."

Shikamaru freezes, going completely shock still. And here he thought he knew every inch of Shino, had read every page and every sentence and every word. Here he'd thought...

"Shino," Shikamaru starts with a cool, solemn logic, "I think you're delusional with whatever medicine your on. You're not in your right mind right now." Shikamaru's hands are shaking, trembling from the weight of the situation. He pulls his hand away from Shino's hastily and begins to walk to the door. He stops just long enough to look over his shoulder and say, "I'll be back tomorrow."

Shino offers another small smile towards the strategist and replies with a calm but confident, "And you will find nothing changed."

As Shikamaru walks away, Shino can hear him whisper, "I really hope not."


End file.
